Many people feel apprehensive about speaking with a mental health professional—whether a psychiatrist (a medical doctor who specialises in mental health), psychologist, therapist, or counsellor. This hesitation often stems from stigma and misconceptions such as:
- The stigma of being associated with a mental illness
- The shame of being labelled with a diagnosis
- Misconceptions that mental illness results from personal weakness and can be overcome by willpower alone
- Fear of opening up and being “interpreted” by a therapist
- Reluctance to take psychiatric medication
- Fear of being admitted to a “mental” hospital
- Worries about cost or becoming a burden to family
- Past negative experiences with healthcare providers that left them feeling misunderstood or invalidated
In some cases, individuals may not even realise that they are unwell. Certain medical conditions can cause a loss of insight, such as:
- Bipolar disorder, where mood may become abnormally elevated
- Schizophrenia, where individuals may believe the voices they hear are real
- Dementia, where memory and cognitive function deteriorate significantly
Others may not yet be ready to accept help, believing they can manage on their own—this is common with issues such as alcohol, gambling, or drug addiction.
Some conditions are ego-syntonic, meaning the person does not perceive their behaviour as problematic. For instance, individuals with anorexia nervosa may persist in wanting to remain severely underweight despite serious health risks.
There is a Chinese idiom that says, “Those around us may see more clearly than we do ourselves.” This often rings true when it comes to mental health. It can be deeply frustrating and worrying when help is available, yet a loved one refuses to seek it. One of the most common questions we receive is: How can we encourage someone to get help?
Here are some suggestions:
1. Make it easier to seek help.
Did you know that many family doctors and general practitioners today have basic training in mental health? Framing the visit as a “check-up” can make it feel more approachable. Since your family member may already have a trusted relationship with their doctor, this can be a comfortable first step towards receiving counselling, medication, or a referral to a psychiatrist or psychologist.
If cost is a concern, public healthcare options are also available. Some polyclinics—such as Punggol, Tampines, and Outram Park—offer mental health support.
2. Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements.
This approach helps show empathy rather than judgment. For example, say “I’m worried about you” instead of “You’re not well and making us worried.”
3. Roll with resistance.
Sometimes, timing matters. If a person is not ready to accept help now, listen to their concerns and gently revisit the topic later.
4. Engage someone they have a soft spot for.
Consider who they might be most receptive to—a favourite child, a trusted friend, or a close relative. Someone they feel comfortable with can often make a breakthrough where others cannot.
5. Be patient and kind.
Patience and kindness are essential, even when you feel desperate for them to receive help. Sometimes, we need to be like a tree—steadfast and supportive, offering strength quietly and consistently.
6. Seek professional support in high-risk situations.
If there is an immediate risk of the person harming themselves or others, professional intervention becomes absolutely necessary. In such situations, calling an ambulance or even the police may be unavoidable, despite our wish to respect their autonomy. The A&E departments of all public hospitals are equipped to provide urgent mental health care.
If you’re concerned about a loved one who may be struggling, taking the first step can make a real difference. At Private Space Medical, our experienced team of psychiatrists and psychologists in Singapore provide discreet, compassionate, and evidence-based care. We take the time to understand each person’s needs and guide them toward recovery in a calm, supportive environment.
If you or someone you care about could benefit from professional guidance, we invite you to reach out and begin the conversation with us today.
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Dr Victor Kwok
Senior Consultant Psychiatrist
Senior Consultant Psychiatrist
