John, a widowed man in his 70s, used to ask to be admitted to the psychiatric ward every December to avoid the holiday season. Since losing his wife, with whom he had shared a close bond, he felt increasingly lonely. His children seemed distant, many of his friends had passed away, and he often described feeling useless and disconnected during this time of year.
John’s experience highlights a common struggle among the elderly during the festive season. While many see it as a time of joy and celebration, others—particularly older adults—may find it a period of sadness and isolation.
The Phenomenon of “Holiday Blues”
The “holiday blues” is a real phenomenon. A 2006 study by the American Psychological Association found that 26% of people reported feeling lonely during the festive period, while 38% experienced heightened stress. More recently, a 2021 survey by the National Alliance on Mental Illness revealed that 3 in 5 individuals felt their mental health worsened during this season.
Who Is at Greater Risk of Depression and Anxiety?
Certain groups are particularly vulnerable during the holidays:
- Those who are socially isolated, such as the single, widowed, or those lacking support from children or siblings
- Individuals facing financial difficulties
- Retirees, especially those forced into early retirement due to job cuts
- Those with multiple medical conditions, such as cancer, stroke, heart disease, or other chronic illnesses
- People with depression, anxiety disorders, and insomnia
How Does the Media’s Holiday Image Affect Us?
The media often portrays the holiday season as an idyllic time filled with family gatherings, joyful moments, and gift-giving. This image can exacerbate feelings of exclusion and sadness for those who compare their lives to these unrealistic depictions, especially on social media. It’s important to remember that social media often showcases curated moments and does not reflect the full reality of someone’s life.
Common Signs of Depression in Older People
Signs of depression in the elderly differ slightly from those in younger individuals. They may include:
- Persistent tiredness or excessive time spent in bed
- Avoidance of social interactions or declining invitations
- Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities
- Excessive guilt about being a burden to their children or feelings of hopelessness
- Anxiety over minor matters, often heightened in cases of depression
- Insomnia or disrupted sleep patterns
- Poor focus or forgetfulness, sometimes mistaken for early dementia
How Can Friends and Family Support Older Folks?
Supporting elderly family members during the holidays can make a significant difference. Simple acts, such as regular phone calls, text messages, or short visits, can help them feel valued. Even a weekly meal at a nearby hawker centre can uplift their spirits.
If they decline invitations, patience is key. Avoid criticism or frustration; instead, gently encourage participation. Involving grandchildren to extend invitations for outings can sometimes be more persuasive.
How Can Older People Help Themselves?
The community offers many resources for elderly individuals to engage socially and find support:
- Churches often host Christmas celebrations, offering not only activities but also a sense of spiritual belonging.
- Care corners, community centres, and voluntary welfare organisations, such as Lion’s Befrienders, organise regular activities.
- Participating in social and exercise groups, such as tai chi, line dancing, or qi gong, is an excellent way to build connections while improving physical and mental health. Over time, these interactions can lead to the creation of a supportive community of friends.
Spirituality and faith can also provide solace and strength. For some, connecting with their religion can help them find deeper meaning and purpose during the festive season. Meditating and reflecting on values such as gratitude and self-compassion can build resilience and foster a sense of inner peace.
How to Encourage Older People to Seek Help
For older individuals reluctant to see a psychiatrist due to stigma, framing it as a visit to address sleep issues may feel less daunting. If they are hesitant, a trusted family doctor may be a good alternative starting point.
Finding Meaning and Joy
Adopting a new mindset during the holiday season can improve mental well-being:
- Focus on the quality, not quantity, of friendships—true friends matter more than having many acquaintances.
- Lower expectations; perfection isn’t necessary. The thought behind an action or gift is what counts.
- Prioritise meaningful connections by spending time with loved ones who matter most.
- Maintain a healthy lifestyle with balanced eating, regular exercise, and adequate rest.
- Consider volunteering your time to help others. Acts of kindness and community service can create a profound sense of purpose and empowerment.
Older people don’t have to suffer from depression in silence, and it’s important to remember that feeling this way is not a natural part of ageing. Reach out to our compassionate team of psychiatrists and psychologists. Many of us are fluent in Mandarin, Malay, and various dialects, ensuring we can communicate effectively with you or your loved ones. Take the first step towards better mental health today.
Dr Victor Kwok
Senior Consultant Psychiatrist
Senior Consultant Psychiatrist
